Speaking to your local member

A policy parable

 

It is quite scary at times when you have a burning issue that you want aired and pluck up the courage to visit your local member.

“Please Sir/Madam”, we say, “There is a hole in the road in front of my shop that keeps eating school busses”, or “There are not enough hospital places.”

The inevitable reply is either “Yes, I know that” or “You just don’t understand the big picture.”

These responses leave you very little room for discussion.

Long, long ago when I was just a pup I used to go to the Royal Easter Show and of an evening, in the main arena, there was a man who flew with a rocket back pack. “By the year 2000”, he would say, “Everyone will have one of them for their general transportation.”

So, when you really need to speak to your local member, you should use the following method.

Storm into the office and ask, very firmly, “Where’s the rocket back pack you promised me?”

You will be greeted by a stunned silence followed by the equally stunned question, “What rocket back pack? I don’t know what you are talking about. Is there something easier we can help you with?”

You respond, “Well you could fix the hole in the road that keeps eating school busses I guess”

Its easy peasy: Try it sometime soon.